Halcyon

I am, somewhat, a cynic at heart.  I woefully believe this current climate of a world we live in is fueled by selfish motives and a sense of self-entitlement.  Too many people I encounter believe they are owed something from someone and everyone has an opinion they are willing to cast like a fishing line out to sea, with no real desire to catch a bite.  Social networking sites have made it so simple and convenient for people to shout their lacking-second-thought opinions out into the universe and, then, hide behind their touch screens to escape any real consequence or guilt from the hurt or aggravation they may cause.  

The Western world, at least, seems to have become so cheap.  Quantity over quality, these days.  Too many people with ideas that have not been thought through and get tossed into a heaping pile along with the others; but, who will sort through and clean them up?  We see a trending bystander-effect, with too many people witnessing the ongoing wretchedness and too few doing anything about it.  The responsibility gets divided and disappears into thin air when we no longer see that the responsibility is still there, we just cannot see it sitting like little red devils on our shoulders.  

The mass shooting in Newtown, Connecticut recently has further justified my cynical standpoint on humanity.  The shooting in the Oregon shopping mall, along with the stabbings in China, the Virginia Tech massacre, the Columbine massacre, and the Aurora, Colorado theater shooting, among others, stir up such discord in my heart.  I have heard people blaming inferior gun laws, calling for more stringent gun control, as well as blaming the government for pulling God out of schools.  I heard someone say that God does not go where he is not wanted, and that is why he did not save the children.  But, somehow, I disagree.  It is part of our human condition to place the blame on someone, anyone.  The media rocket launches the person responsible for these crimes to their fifteen minutes of fame, plastering their names and faces across television and the web for all to see and remember.  While we blame, we focus too much of our attention on these sad souls who do not seem to deserve a second of our thoughts.  

Evil exists in all of us, but good resides inside of us, as well.  Often, we place ourselves on a pedestal because we think we could never fall to such depravity; however, we fail to realize that it is not entirely impossible.  Sometimes we do not understand the tragedy or the adversity some of us endure in this unfair world, and we try to throw the unlucky ones into a glass box and label them as something we should avoid.  Awareness is the only solution.  We have to learn to stop judging and to see life clearly, instead of through the rose-tinted glasses most of us wear on a daily basis.  Ignorance is not always bliss, sometimes it is the reason behind the problem. 

Humans are capable of evil, no matter how near to the light they believe they are.  We are not all saints and angels, and we are all capable of losing our wings.  This is something we must not forget, and we must live with the awareness of the capabilities of others, as well as ourselves.  Long gone are the days of peace and happiness.  We live in a technological world where we cannot escape the darkness. 

Just a Little Bizarre

Something about Sundays makes me sleepy, even though I always feel the need to be productive around the house.  It's an odd time of the season because it's becoming typical of Oklahoma to flip flop between hot, summery days and near-winter temperatures.  It's exhausting and nearly impossible to even attempt to lay out your wardrobe for the next day.

I woke up this morning and put on a pot of coffee.  Indivisible from Starbucks.  It's my absolute favorite that I can get here in Oklahoma.  Just a splash of milk.

I remembered I had quite a few unfrosted cupcakes left over from yesterday morning's baking ventures.  I baked nearly 48 cupcakes - 24 pumpkin, 24 hummingbird.  I pulled a pumpkin muffin out and had it with my coffee.  There is something about cool, rainy weather that makes me crave warm, spicy foods.  Something so comforting about feel-good foods like pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, cream cheese, and the smell of brewed coffee lingering about in the air.

By no means was this a good start for a fiercely, productive day.  Cuddling in a fuzzy blanket that smelled like lavender and sandalwood seemed like the next best thing to do, of course.  And after that, well, it's been an afternoon of listening to period film soundtracks, like Atonement and Pride and Prejudice, and planning for Indian cuisine this evening.

I love days like today that, despite their nap-inducing, production-hindering qualities, get my mind ticking and I start thinking about life and all its simple pleasures.  And then I start to think about how lucky I am for the things I have:  my job, my opportunity to go to college, my husband, my silly cats, my family, and friends.  I think about the country and its condition, the problems in our chaotic world.  What does any of it have to do with me?  How do I matter in any of it?  Why do I even ask these questions?

We are all bizarre, but somehow extremely important to this world we live in.  We are, whether we notice it or not, connected and affect one another.  Whether you believe in a God or some higher power, we are all connected on some cellular level and by some means of destiny or fate.  I imagine what it would be like if I had changed one turn in my life, and I realize that where I am now, I would not be had I made one different choice.  This eases my pangs of regret over the "mistakes" I made.  But, in the long run, were they really mistakes if they led me to be who I am now?

I love being who I am and believing in the things that I do, because I feel like I realize something that so many people often miss.  I realize that life cannot be planned and it most definitely isn't color-by-number.  Sometimes the grass turns out red and the sky turns out yellow.  And these differences are what make us so important to each other.  They are what help us function, and feel, and hopefully in the end see something brighter and more interesting.  If we didn't, how boring would life be?   

Chocolate Cupcakes with Vanilla Bean Buttercream

Last week, I nearly pulled my hair out working on a silly essay for one of my Comp. & Lit. classes, and considering it had been a good while since I had been in the kitchen, I knew a good couple of hours of baking would alleviate some stress.

I have completely given up on any of the recipes that come from the Magnolia Bakery book.  All of their cupcakes end up coming out so dry and crumbly - they never retain any of that moisture I want with cupcakes.  Graham had recently been scoping out Martha Stewart's website for craft ideas, and I decided to have a little gander myself. 

I think I have crossed over into the magical realm of Martha Stewart.  I discovered a perfect recipe for "Chocolate Cupcakes with Vanilla Bean Buttercream" for which I fell absolutely head-over-heels.  Plus, they stayed moist for a good while - which is a plus!

Ingredients:

2 3/4 c. cake flour (not self-rising)

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. salt

2 1/2 c. sugar

1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temp.

6 oz. unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled back down to room temp.

4 extra-large eggs

1 Tbsp. + 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

1 c. sour cream

1 c. water

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 40 standard muffin cups with cupcake liners and set aside.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
3. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together sugar and butter until light and fluffy, 3 to 5 minutes. Add chocolate and beat on medium speed until well combined, 1 to 2 minutes. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add sour cream and vanilla and mix until well combined, 1 to 2 minutes.
4. With mixer on low speed, add flour mixture in three parts, alternating the parts with your 1 cup water and beginning and ending with flour; beat until just combined, 1 to 3 minutes.
5. Fill prepared muffin cups three-quarters full with batter. Transfer to oven and bake for 10 minutes. Rotate muffin pans and continue baking until a cake tester inserted into the center of a cupcake comes out clean, about 10 minutes more. Let cool completely before frosting.

**As I'm sure you know, cut ingredients in half if 40 cupcakes seems like too many.  I went overboard, as usual.

Frosting Ingredients:

2 cups (4 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into small pieces

3 1/2 c. confectioners' sugar (It often isn't necessary to add ALL this sugar.  I taste with each cup  I add so I don't go overboard on sweetness!)

Pinch of salt

1 vanilla bean, scraped

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

1/4 c. milk

Directions:

     1.  In the bowl of an electric mixer, fitted with a paddle (if you have one), beat butter until creamy. 

          Slowly add confectioners' sugar; beat to combine, scraping down sides of bowl as necessary.

     2.  Add vanilla bean seeds and vanilla extract, and beat to combine.  Slowly add milk and continue

          beating on medium-low speed until smooth and creamy, about 5 minutes.

If you're experienced with baking and icing, disregard.  But remember to let the cakes cool completely before trying to put this icing on - it doesn't retain its shape and slumps, which isn't pretty.  These turned out so well, though!  They stayed moist for a good few days!  I would definitely make this recipe again, especially for a special occasion.  The taste was spot on! 

 

Taking Responsibility

It seems I go through phases where I have the extra time to blog, journal, take pictures, bake, exercise, read, etc. and then go through major slumps where I have zero time to even think about myself, let alone do the things I enjoy doing.  Looking back through my journals and blogs, I get sad thinking about all the time that passed in between the entries and posts, and I honestly have a hard time remembering exactly what took up so much of that time; although I know my schoolwork can take the blame for a good chunk of that time.  I started writing this entry ten days ago, for crying out loud!

Distractions are abundant in life.  Everyone needs some form of accountability in his or her life to stay on track.  Sometimes it feels like I need a nagging gnome following me around, reminding me about the size-too-small pants I bought two-weeks ago to motivate my exercise routine or about the stack of bills that have accumulated on the kitchen counter that need sorting.  With all of the responsibilities that accrue in life, it is so easy to get behind and forget about yourself and everyone else. 

Since I moved back to the United States last August, my life has been in a sort of upheaval.  The spare time to run down to the gym or slip into a baking frenzy often gets weighed out in lieu of getting some extra rest or unwinding with a glass of wine or two with Grey's Anatomy.  Eventually, the flow of my life will find a rhythm, but until then, how am I supposed to keep myself grounded and sane?

I came home with hopes of devoting more of me to family and friends.  Although a great amount of time has been devoted to my schoolwork, I still find myself with an aching void that yearns to be filled and with the bare minimum amount of time to give to anyone else but me.  Time and time again, I expend too much energy trying to schedule my life and squeeze my "routine" into allotted blocks on a calendar.  The only thing I have learned from taking a step back and realizing what I am doing is that it simply is not working.

So, today is Day 1 of my challenge to take responsibility for myself.  I'm taking a hiatus from the moaning and complaining, from the "If I only had the time to...," the "What ifs," and the pity parties.  Today, I only require myself and my accountability to focus on the now, and I suppose I will worry about tomorrow in the morning.
 

Sunday Baking

After a couple of long, stressful weeks, I knew it was time to get my caboose back into the kitchen.  About a month ago, I stumbled upon this nifty, vegan cupcake recipe and I have been dying to try it out.  It's for Chocolate-Avocado Cupcakes with an Avocado Buttercream frosting.  

I just popped the little guys into the oven, and I am about to start whisking up the frosting.  I bought myself an extra avocado to nibble while I'm working.  

Here's the recipe:

 

Ingredients for the cake:

3 cups flour
6 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. baking soda
2 cups granulated sugar
1/4 cups vegetable oil
1/2 cup soft avocado, well mashed, about 1 medium avocado
2 Tbsp. white vinegar
2 tsp. vanilla extract
2 cups water

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C).  Prepare 24 cupcake cups in cupcake tins.

In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa, salt, baking powder and baking soda set aside.

Whisk together the sugar, oil, mashed avocado, vinegar and vanilla, then add the water. Sift in the dry ingredients all at once, then whisk until smooth. 

Pour batter into prepared tins.  The actual recipe calls for them to bake for 30-40 minutes, but mine were ready around 25. 

Let cakes cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a rack to cool completely.

Avocado Buttercream Frosting Ingredients:

8 oz (225g) fresh avocado, about 2 small to medium, very ripe avocados
2 tsp. lemon juice
1 lb (455g) powdered sugar, sifted (use more for a thicker frosting)
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Peel and pit the avocados. Place the avocado meat into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment along with the lemon juice and beat until lightened in color and very well mashed, approximately 2 to 3 minutes. 

Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl from time to time. Sift in the powdered sugar a little at a time and beat until smooth. Add the vanilla and mix to combine. 

If not using right away, store in the refrigerator.

I had some leftover Halloween cups that I thought I'd use since I didn't get a chance to bake these when I wanted to last weekend.  Since they're still warm, I decided to go ahead and frost the taste-tester.

Also, for Days 5 & 6 of my countdown, I want to say that I am thankful for the Dowell family and how they have always made me feel like part of their family.  They are some of the best people in my life and I am so glad I know them.

Enjoy!

Southern Hummingbird Cake

Before I share my favorite recipe for a Southern-style Hummingbird Cake, today is Day 4 of the countdown to Thanksgiving.

Today, I am thankful for my younger sister, Jordan, who inspires me to be a better, more caring person.

This recipe is one I got from Paula Deen.  Although her love of butter irks me sometimes, in some instances, it just works out for the better and I have to close my eyes to what I'm doing.  :)  This is the recipe that continues to win over anyone who has tried it:

Ingredients:

Unsalted butter (for greasing)
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flours (plus more for dusting)
1 cup pecan pieces
3 ripe bananas, chopped
1/2 cup diced pineapple
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. grated nutmeg
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
3 large eggs (at room temperature)
1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
1 cup vegetable oil

Frosting:

2 - 8 oz. packages cream cheese, at room temperature
12 Tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 cups confectioner's sugar
1 Tbsp. finely grated lemon zest
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.  Butter 2 (8- or 9-inch) round cake pans and line with parchment paper.  Butter and dust the parchment paper with flour.

Toast the pecans on a baking sheet for about 8 minutes, until fragrant.  Let them cool, then chop and toss together with the chopped bananas, pineapple, and 1/2 cup flour in a small bowl.

Whisk the remaining 2 1/4 cups of flour with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, baking soda and salt in a bowl.  Beat the eggs and granulated sugar in a separate bowl with a mixer on high speed until thick and light, about 5 minutes.  Gradually beat in vegetable oil.

Sprinkle the flour mixture over the egg mixture and fold until a thick batter is formed.  Fold in the pecan-fruit mixture and transfer the prepared batter into the cake pans, equally.  Bake until the cakes are firm, about 50-55 minutes.  Cool in pans on a rack for 25-minutes, then invert cakes onto the rack to cool completely.

To Make the Frosting:

Beat the softened cream cheese in a large bowl with a mixer until fluffy, then gradually beat in the butter until combined.  Sift the confectioner's sugar over the mixture until smooth.  Add the lemon zest and vanilla, and beat until light and fluffy.  

Place the first layer on your serving plate and frost.  Then add your top layer and frost the top and around the sides. 

I like to garnish my finished cake with cinnamon toasted pecans, coconut, or little sugar pearls.  It is up to you!

Enjoy!

Butternut Squash Soup

As the leaves on the trees fade from cool shades of green to warm hues of golden yellow, orange, and red, my taste buds start yearning for cozy, comfort foods like my favorite fall soup ingredient - butternut squash. 

I made this creamy soup about a month ago from scratch and have not been able to stop craving it.  This afternoon, my granny called me up and asked me how to make it and she brought over a big bowl of it to soothe my aching mouth and hungry tummy.  She also brought over some homemade cornbread.  Yum!

Here is the recipe I made:

Ingredients:

• 2 - 2 1/2 lbs. butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1" pieces
• 1 1/2 c. diced onion
• 2 carrots, peeled and diced
• 3 - 13 3/4 oz. cans chicken broth
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2 Tbsp. butter
• 1/2 c. light or heavy cream
• Sour cream, for garnish

Directions:

In a medium saucepan, combine butternut squash, onion, carrots, broth, and salt.  Simmer, uncovered, until butternut squash is very tender, about 40 minutes. 
Puree soup in a blender or food processor with the butter.  Whisk cream into soup.
Serve with a dollop of sour cream or sprinkle with nutmeg, if ya like.