Just a Little Bizarre

Something about Sundays makes me sleepy, even though I always feel the need to be productive around the house.  It's an odd time of the season because it's becoming typical of Oklahoma to flip flop between hot, summery days and near-winter temperatures.  It's exhausting and nearly impossible to even attempt to lay out your wardrobe for the next day.

I woke up this morning and put on a pot of coffee.  Indivisible from Starbucks.  It's my absolute favorite that I can get here in Oklahoma.  Just a splash of milk.

I remembered I had quite a few unfrosted cupcakes left over from yesterday morning's baking ventures.  I baked nearly 48 cupcakes - 24 pumpkin, 24 hummingbird.  I pulled a pumpkin muffin out and had it with my coffee.  There is something about cool, rainy weather that makes me crave warm, spicy foods.  Something so comforting about feel-good foods like pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, cream cheese, and the smell of brewed coffee lingering about in the air.

By no means was this a good start for a fiercely, productive day.  Cuddling in a fuzzy blanket that smelled like lavender and sandalwood seemed like the next best thing to do, of course.  And after that, well, it's been an afternoon of listening to period film soundtracks, like Atonement and Pride and Prejudice, and planning for Indian cuisine this evening.

I love days like today that, despite their nap-inducing, production-hindering qualities, get my mind ticking and I start thinking about life and all its simple pleasures.  And then I start to think about how lucky I am for the things I have:  my job, my opportunity to go to college, my husband, my silly cats, my family, and friends.  I think about the country and its condition, the problems in our chaotic world.  What does any of it have to do with me?  How do I matter in any of it?  Why do I even ask these questions?

We are all bizarre, but somehow extremely important to this world we live in.  We are, whether we notice it or not, connected and affect one another.  Whether you believe in a God or some higher power, we are all connected on some cellular level and by some means of destiny or fate.  I imagine what it would be like if I had changed one turn in my life, and I realize that where I am now, I would not be had I made one different choice.  This eases my pangs of regret over the "mistakes" I made.  But, in the long run, were they really mistakes if they led me to be who I am now?

I love being who I am and believing in the things that I do, because I feel like I realize something that so many people often miss.  I realize that life cannot be planned and it most definitely isn't color-by-number.  Sometimes the grass turns out red and the sky turns out yellow.  And these differences are what make us so important to each other.  They are what help us function, and feel, and hopefully in the end see something brighter and more interesting.  If we didn't, how boring would life be?